🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?